mswahilihenry: A letter to my wifeMy dearwife,I know it’slong sin...

mswahilihenry: A letter to my wifeMy dearwife,I know it’slong sin...: A letter to my wife My dear wife, I know it’s long since we communicated dear. What I did that Saturday night was not good. Making you...

Why my marriage failed

Part 3

By Henry

A letter to my wife

My dear wife,

I know it’s long since we communicated dear. What I did that Saturday night was not good. Making you look like a fool in front of my friends that night is something am regretting until now.

Uttering irresponsible words my dear was not my will. Remember our son John. For the love of son and the sake of wedding oath, I do, please forgive me.

We got married during our youthful age. That was after college, my dear. Also, we pledged to our parents that we will love each other till death separates us. We assured our church priest that my God is your God. To our best couples, we promised them that, this will be a blessed marriage forever. Our classmates back then called us doves of hope.

My dear, I recall our celebration of our firstborn, John. The villagers celebrated for 7 days. They danced to the new tune of giving them the true fruit, our son. Do you remember mama's gift to John and you? I even felt jealous of only getting advice while you two were pampered with scarfs, dressings, shoes…

My soulmate, during our honeymoon you said, “I stand by you always, no matter the circumstance.”

You kneeled down, kissed my palm, took a deep breath then I took your left hand as I repeated your words. It was that night that we held each other more than any night. Night of calmness. No word. Finally, we said the moon is our witness as we went for dinner. It was almost midnight.

Mama John, before we went out that night, we had taken our meal. We ensured our son was safe with the house girl. The boy slept while smiling as is the norm. Normally when he wakes up, he asks, wapi dad?(Where is my father?) That was my last sight with you and him.

When we arrived at the party, we were received warmly. We were given refreshments as guests arrived. Then time for giving speeches started. We were fifth on the as per the program.

Before I spoke, I give you the microphone. You said few words. The words were accompanied by your sweet smiling face and dimples which I admire most till now as I write. It was my turn to speak. Honestly, the devil is a liar as they say. I found myself saying how you charmed me. You forced me to do a wedding. You forced me to give you a son. You forced yourself to walk with me wherever I go. You made me see you as the only beautiful creature on earth. That the only well molded feminine being was you.

That was neither my intention dear nor the theme of my speech. I saw you lastly screaming as you walked out of the auditorium. I saw you cursing the day you stepped into my life… that is how you left till now.

When I came home, the gate was wide open; the lights in the house were on. The place was quiet. The main door was open too. I called you, there was no response as usual. Going to the kitchen, you were not there, bedroom, guest room… our son also nowhere. The house girl is also absent. Checking your wardrobe everything was intact. Your mobile phone was mteja, (off service).

It's ten years now since you left. I am only left with these beautiful pictures of our wedding around the wall. Before I go to sleep today on Saturday night, the same day and date you left this house, come and forgive me. Forgive me before I get the second punishment from heaven. Pass my regards to John. Tell him dad penda wewe (Your father loves you).

Your loving husband

                Photo Courtesy; Google

mswahilihenry: The importance of falling in love

mswahilihenry: The importance of falling in love: The importance of falling in love Before I got married, I used to hate house chores. After long day of work, energy for washing utensils...

The importance of falling in love

The importance of falling in love

Before I got married, I used to hate house chores. After long day of work, energy for washing utensils and cleaning the house was not there. Instead of cleaning the utensils, I opted to go a hotel. During weekend, I visited my friends. This was the only solution of saving energy for the house hold tasks. The only thing I would do if need arises, is preparing black tea and wash immediately.

For clothes, I took to the laundry or wait for cleaner for hire in the estate. At times, I would repeat wearing other clothes, trousers and braziers. At times I paid KES 500 to women who clean clothes around the estate. With polishing shoes, shoe cleaners were always around. I believed the short cuts were good and I’ll use them forever.

Things changed when I started dating Mama John. We used to meet in town. It was not daily because she was so strict. I’ve never known why she was so strict; meeting twice in a month. Other communications were done over the mobile phone and it was as night. This communication lasted for the last five years.

On our fifth year she decided to come over the weekends to do some cleaning in the house. I gave her my key spare. She Cooked. That scent of chapati ruled the house the whole weekend. Fried meat was perfectly done by her blessed hand. The house was well arranged. Also, she gave me company to church. She is the person who made me buy a bible and place it on our sitting room table. It’s there up to date.

I bought an iron machine for my clothes. She did it perfectly. I felt like a king whenever I was wore those attires. The smelling was good. The posture from a distance made my colleagues make compliments; you’re looking cool nowadays. This was directed to my ears but deep in my heart, this was Mama John praise. She made me look so.

I cannot remember the last time I went to the hotel to eat or drink since she stepped into my life. Going to job, she gives me a lunch box and a thermos during tea break. Walking up late over the weekend is history now. Weekdays am reporting to work. Weekends after church, we take our John out for children funny. This renews our bond; from single to life partner.

Doing shopping is a norm. We go together to the supermarket. We make a shopping list as we do this; including the shoe polish and match stick. Oh!

There is much respect between me and my parents. This is after I got married. The respect even increased when we gave them a grandson… To my friends nowadays am baba John.

Where I work, there was a salary benefit after my resume status changed married. Also there is that paternity leave. That’s the importance of being married. By Nyabuto Henry

A letter to my wife

My dear wife,

I know it’s long since we communicated dear. What I did that Saturday night was not good. Making you look like a fool in front of my friends that night is something am regretting until now.

Uttering words that were irresponsible my dear was not my will. Remember our son John. For the love of son and the sake of wedding oath, I do, please forgive me.

We got married during our youthful age. That was after college my dear. Also we pledged to our parents that we will love each other till death separates us. We assured our church priest that my God is your God. To our best couples we promised them that, this will be the blessed marriage forever. Our classmates back then called us doves of hope.

My dear I recall our celebration of our firstborn, John. The villagers celebrated for 7 days. They danced to the new tune of giving them the true fruit, our son. Do you remember mama gift to John and you? I even felt jealous of only getting advice while you two were pampered with scarfs, dressings, shoes…

My soulmate, during our honeymoon you said, “I stand by you always, no matter the circumstance.”

You kneeled down, kissed my palm, took a deep breath then I took your left hand as I repeated your words. It was that night that we held each other than any night. Night of calmness. No word. Finally we said the moon is our witness as we went for dinner. It was almost mid night.

Mama John, before we went out that night, we had taken our meal. We ensured our son was safe with the house girl. The boy slept while smiling as is norm. Normally when he wakes up, he asks, wapi dad?(Where is my father?) That was my last sight with you and him.

When we arrived at the party, we were received warmly. We were given refreshments as guests arrived. Then time for giving speeches started. We were fifth on the as per the program.

Before I spoke, I give you the microphone. You said few words. The words were accompanied with your sweet smiling face and dimples which I admire most till now as I write. It was my turn to speak. Honestly the devil is a liar as they say. I found myself saying how you charmed me. You forced me to do a wedding. You forced me to give you a son. You forced yourself to walk with me wherever I go. You made me to see you as the only beautiful creature on earth. That the only well moulded feminine being was you.

That was neither my intension dear nor the theme of my speech. I saw you lastly screaming as you walked out of the auditorium. I saw you cursing the day you stepped into my life… that is how you left till now.

When I came home, the gate was wide open; the lights in the house were on. The place was quiet. The main door was open too. I called you, there was no response as usually. Going to kitchen, you were not there, bedroom, guest room… our son also nowhere. The house girl also absent. Checking your wardrobe everything was intact. Your mobile phone was mteja, (off service).

Its ten years now since you left. I am only left with these beautiful pictures of our wedding around the wall. Before I go to sleep today on Saturday night, the same day and date you left this house, come and forgive me. Forgive me before I get the second punishment from heaven. Pass my regards to John. Tell him dad penda wewe (Your father loves you).

Your loving husband

How to have a successful relationship

Every moment I send a short message (SMS) to her, that day I normally get her attention. It’s a message of love. Reminding her on how we meet. Telling her how she used to be shy whenever we meet. She used to like down. Plucking near by leaves or flowers during our conversation.

That is the only way to get her attention whenever there is a moment of silence of SMS. I do this during my tea break at work or lunch hour. With this kind of communication via mobile phone, we are able to discuss our menu that night.

Once we get in touch through this technology, she finalizes by saying, good day my dear. This message will make my day to be full of blessings. If I had an assignment in office, I will take few minutes to cover it. In the evening I will pass through the supermarket and get some chocolate for my wife and our son, John.

What I want to put in place is that, communication strengthens any affiliation. If well applied, we will have a long lasting relationship on earth before we get to new the heaven that Christ promised us. 

This modern gadgets we have, their purpose is communication. Therefore our mobile phones fill the gap of physical presence by texts. It makes life easy by exchanging words with your loved ones at far.

Also ensure you set time for family affair discussion. Family issues should be at the top priorities in any marriage. This will kill the enemy of blame game. Where you have come from, the current situation and the future of your generation lies at the palm of your hand, husband and wife. This is well explained in the book Fighting For Your Marriage by Howard J. Markman states that being there and standing for one another is very important in marriage.

You began with a single rental room, now you are in your own apartment. You have moved from paying rent to owning a home. In deed getting married is good. It comes with blessings. Blessings of moving to somewhere with someone you call your destiny.

She made you work hard during you singlehood till now you are a father. Now you praise God as you even chat recalling those days when you were rained on as you were waiting her from noon till late night. Truly you have come a long way.

Opening an account for your child is what you are putting in place now. Getting him insurance in your son’s education is the debate now. Getting a new piece of land for agribusiness is the second agenda. What are we going to plant? Who should we employ to our farm? Those are some of the questions which need answers from you, dad and mum.

Another serious issue which needs the intelligence of you people is money matters. Any coin earned and spent should be taken into account. Men might laugh at this issue but it is serious. Having record books during this inflation season is what will solve the problem of spending more than you get.

People may see you crazy when carrying a shopping list, asking receipts on every cent spent in buying match sticks…That’s the answer of how did you spend that money I left with you.

When doing this basic family arithmetic’s, your family will never lack anything. They will not be beggars but advisors to beggars in marriage. Remember to take record of cash.

Having fall out is in any successful couples. Though it’s a serious challenge but it should not be a barrier to your sweet family dream. One of the preacher’s in a matatu I was travelling in said; as couples when you have a problem in marriage, put the problem on the table, step aside as couple then discussing this problem you are steering at. If we all solve this marriage conflicts like our preacher’s teaching, conflict will not have a room in your matrimonial home. A family divided will not stand. Reclaim your marriage with action steps as Nancy J. Wasson says in the book Keep Your Marriage

Play games. Let your child watch who will win. Play that Temple Run game in your personal computer’s. Let the spectator, child celebrate the winner. It arouses the love sensory. It creates that atmosphere of laugh. The laughter will make the neighbors admire your living standards. It’s simple things which adds some meaning to life. Play any game of choice.

Reading right books as a family will make your mind young. Books for families, investment and other motivational books will keep you going. Kill that saying of if you want to hide something from an African, put it in a book. Attend family conferences. Get the right speakers who are role models in your family. Buy the cassette discs, CD. Watch as a couple during dinner in your own family sitting room. Upload your lessons and achievements on you tube- tell the world what you have done.

Finally, visit your family up country. Those people took care of you while you had nothing. You ate their ugali and sukuma wiki. They took you to school. Appreciate them with your visit. They saw this planet before you. Don’t forget the African proverb; burying an old man is like burying gold. Appreciate them in any way you couples can. Their advice is what makes you going.

By Nyabuto Henry

TREES PROJECT